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sacred
cows
Bay Street, the creation
He did
it his way. John O`Dea on one of the greatest stories ever told
In the beginning Chris envisaged Bay Street. And St. George's Bay
was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the
road. And the imagination of Chris moved upon the face of the waters.
And Chris said let there be plans; And Edwin the Architect drew
up the plans.
And Chris saw the plans that they were good and created a consortium
to invest in the project.
And Chris called the project Bay Street. The upper part he called
a Hotel and the lower a Shopping Mall. And this was the first day.
And Chris said, let there be applications to the Planning Authority
for a Hotel/Language School and a Shopping Mall: And it was so.
And this was the second day.
And Chris said let the Hotel and the Shopping Mall be gathered unto
one place, let there be landscaping, let the building commence:
and it was so.
And Chris saw that it was good.
And Chris said let the Shops and Retail Outlets be leased to yield
profits unto the investors: and it was so.
And the Shop owners developed their outlets and applied for Trading
Licences from the Police: And some were granted: And Chris saw that
it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the third day.
And Chris said let electricity be installed in the building to divide
the day from the night; let there be electricity for signs and for
the seasons: let there be lights in the ceilings to give light upon
the shops; and it was so.
And Chris installed Laser lights to light up the heavens during
the night; And Chris saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
And Chris said let the earth bring forth the moving creature that
hath lucre and credit cards that may bring commerce to the Shopping
Mall.
And the Marketing Department brought forth the great unwashed abundantly
after their kind and the window shopper after his kind: and Chris
saw that it was good.
And Chris blessed them saying be fruitful and multiply and shop
till you drop and let your kind multiply in Bay Street.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
And Chris said let there be entertainment in the Village Square
to further bring forth the great unwashed after their own kind:
and it was so.
And Chris said let us also attract shoppers in our own image, after
our likeness who will appreciate class and elegance and let them
have dominion over the great unwashed.
And the Marketing Department attracted shoppers in Chris's own image,
in the image of Chris attracted they them; male and female attracted
they them.
And Chris blessed them and Chris said unto them, be fruitful, and
multiply, and replenish Bay Street and shop until you drop and let
your kind multiply in Bay Street; And it was so.
And Chris said to the multitudes, behold I have provided you with
elegant shops, classy cafes and up-market restaurants; I have employed
Albert Marshall to bring culture to the masses; I have employed
Joe Tanti to organise entertainment for you;
And Chris saw everything that he had made, and, behold it was very
good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
And on the seventh day Chris ended his work, which he had made and
he paused from all his work that he had made and solemnly intoned
‘God. I'm good'
And Chris blessed the seventh day and declared it a shopping day,
because on that day the great unwashed flocked to Bay Street in
their multitudes and increased and multiplied.
But there went up a great mist from the earth called Vince tal-GRTU
and poured cold water over the face of Chris, by protesting against
trading on the seventh day.
And the protest of Vince tal-GRTU brought down the wrath of the
Police upon the slicked down hair of Chris; And the Police told
the shop owners that they were breaking the Law
And Chris said let us call in a team of lawyers led by Georg (pronounced
Ghejorgh): and it was so; And Georg (pronounced Ghejorgh) found
favour in the eyes of Chris and walked with Chris, on the right
hand side of Chris and sometimes in front of Chris, like Robin with
Batman.
And exhaustion caused a great sleep to fall upon Vince tal-GRTU
and as he slept ‘Keep Sunday Special' (KSS) took one of his
ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib that KSS had taken from Vince tal-GRTU, made he a PS
and brought him unto Vince.
And Vince said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh:
He shall be called Edwin, because he was taken out of me.
Therefore shall Vince and Edwin cleave unto each other: and they
shall be of one mind. There will be no trading on the seventh day;
And it was so.
And they were both talking a lot of nonsense, Vince and Edwin, and
were not ashamed for it made good press.
Verily I say unto you. Watch this space. There will be revelations.
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