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Charles Bayliss, chairman of the Malta Gay Civil Rights Movement
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Denial
stories surface with birth of gay lobby
Charles
Bayliss believes that coming out is the way forward for the gay
community, Miriam Dunn discovers
John realised
he had gay tendencies when he was 16. He wasn't sure if it was
a phase he was going through, and felt so confused and low that
he even contemplated emigrating.
But his
mother was against him going and he eventually decided to stay
and conform with the life everyone seemed to feel he should lead,
even marrying a girlfriend and having two children.
It was only
some years later, after living in turmoil and denial that John
faced up to his true feelings.
"I repressed
my tendencies, putting them to the back of my mind," he explains.
"I used to work all hours of the day and night to avoid being
at home, it was hell."
John finally
made the decision to leave home and now lives with his boyfriend.
"I knew
I wasn't being fair on my wife and children, so after a few false
starts, I finally left," he says. "It wasn't easy, but I knew
it was the right thing to do. I said I have to live or die."
John, whose
name has been changed to protect his identity, now lives with
his boyfriend and is relieved that he has accepted the truth about
himself.
Charles
Bayliss, chairman of the Malta Gay Civil Rights Movement, which
was launched last Wednesday, says that one of the group's aims
is to try to change the mentality of the Maltese towards the gay
community, which will make it easier for people like John to face
up to their true feelings.
"Yes, things
have changed over the past 10 years and people are more open than
they were, but there are still problems, and we are still 20 years
behind many other European countries," he says. "For example,
I was taking a walk with my partner in Bugibba last Sunday, and
somebody made a snide remark, just within earshot. This is the
kind of thing we would like to eradicate."
Mr Bayliss
admits that one of the biggest obstacles to the group's campaign
is the Church.
"In fact,
our organisation is working for civil rights because we know that
the Church is a closed door," he says.
In fact,
he believes that the Church's teachings are part of the reason
that many people are so intolerant of gay people and recounts
an example that backs up his convictions.
"I knew
a 19-year-old man who told his parents he was gay and they found
it impossible to accept the news," he explains. "So he got a priest,
who was also gay, to speak to them and they were much more receptive.
The church's influence or indoctrination if you like, makes a
very big difference."
Mr Bayliss
adds that the movement has made a conscious effort to go one step
further than previous gay movements, by being prepared to reveal
their identity.
"Previous
groups were very anonymous, only operating behind the scenes,
as it were," he explains.
In fact
Mr Bayliss believes it would help the gay community - estimated
to total some 20,000 - if well-known gays would be prepared to
admit their orientation.
"Yes, people
know who they are, be they MPs, lawyers or TV personalities, but
they still don't say it publicly," he says. "If they would do
this, then the public would start being more tolerant and accepting
us. We have to make the first move."
Along with
a change of attitude, Mr Bayliss adds that the movement will be
pushing for changes to the law.
"There is
a great deal of discrimination in many legal and social matters,
such as housing or problems to do with inheritance rights that
we will be aiming to get changed," he says.
He adds
that the group also hopes to set up a helpline for people that
need to talk or seek advice.
Mr Bayliss
says that the group will be organising a gay pride activity this
summer, which will be private, with a view to making it public
the following year.
"We are
aware that it takes time for people to come to terms with publicity
on such a sensitive matter, so we are making this year's activity
private, with the hope that this will encourage maximum attendance,"
he says.
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