Maltatoday asks…

Where are they now?


The University lecturer | No: 0077

Why are they in the news this time?
Beats me, but I’ve heard that they want a 100% pay increase backdated some three years. If that is not news, what is?

And what is the government saying?
Love it, love it, no problem.

But do they deserve it?
Well, a few do. I mean you have a small, core group of dedicated lecturers who live and let live on campus, but then we have another far bigger group that treat the place like a holiday resort.

What do you mean?
Well, to them the university lectureship is a part-time commitment and their real income stems from other more lucrative sources.

Who are the biggest culprits?
Simply far too many to mention.

But surely there are other considerations apart from the salary?
Oh no. But I suppose that if we had to try and mention one other minor concern it would be their stuffy mini-offices designed by that innovative, creative, practical and unique architect; Mr England.

Who are the most dedicated lecturers?
The ones found in Law, Architecture and Commerce.

How does one identify a lecturer?
Flaking dandruff, oversized coat, blue tie, bleached shirt, dark blue trousers and brown unpolished shoes.

What is a lecturer’s toughest job?
Getting to the lecture on time.

What are Tal-Qroqq lecturers best remembered for?
Communication skills.

What do lecturers never do?
Cry, fall in love with their students, blaspheme, promote nepotism and pretend to read and correct all exam papers.

What is the motto of University lecturers?
Ten damn lectures a week are far too bloody many.

Why are some students that leave University such a disaster?
Always remember it is the student’s fault not the lecturer’s. (Between you and me, today’s students have a lower IQ than the good old days).