Maltatoday asks…

Where are they now?

The Futbol Fan | No: 0078

How do you identify a futbol fan?
Hasno brain, screams like a hyena, drinks Heineken and uses expletives liberally.

What drives a football fan?
It’s so f******* cool, man.

What is the difference between one football club another?
The colour, you idiot.

How do track down a fan?
Look out for the bottles, the litter and the trail of urine.

Name one positive thing about futbol jumping jives?
It keeps the ecstasy trade alive.

Why is futbol such a noble sport?
Because the word corruption and bribery never comes into it.

Who is the hate figure for a futbol fan?
The referee.

What makes a futbol fan cry?
A drunken buddy.

Who is an eligible futbol fan?
Anyone with a penchant for singing silly songs and wiggling his or her fat ass to the tune of ‘we are the champions’

Who are the top futbol fans in Malta?
Valletta supporters of course.

What distinguishes a Maltese futbol fan from the rest?
They usually support the biggest losers in world class soccer.

What is the redeeming factor about futbol fans?
They only throw bottles when drunk.

What does a futbol fan’s home look like?
Nothing truly different. Futbol fans are normal citizens but they have a crisis when it comes to toilets. They prefer to urinate on people’s doorsteps.