this week

On the merry-go-round

John O`Dea on how government really works and on the more subtle nuances of capitalism

I am often asked why, with the exception of the occasional sarcastic remark, I never write or comment about politics. The reasons are simple. First, I do not think that I am qualified or knowledgeable enough about politics to comment, although that does not seem to have discouraged many others. Secondly, I have no wish to be on anybody’s hate-list. Thirdly, I believe that the last thing anybody needs is another political commentator.

However, in case that you are unfamiliar with the political system in Malta, because you fall asleep in front of television, do not read newspapers or listen to the radio, or simply never bothered to learn about our system of Government for whatever reason – such as having a life – I feel that it is my civic duty to enlighten you about the finer points of our political system.

Before we look at the political side of things, we should take a brief look at economics, because the heart of any Government is based on money. The economic system is administered jointly by the Minister for Finance representing the Government, the GWU, the UHM and other Oonjins representing the workers and the FOI, the COC and the MEA representing the employers. Basically the system works like this. The Oonjins ask the Government or the employers for more money. The Government replies that wage increases will bring about tax hikes. The employers reply that wage increases will bring about bankruptcy and large-scale unemployment. The Oonjins threaten or take strike action. Tempers flare; there is a lot of drama, huffing and puffing, to-ing, and fro-ing; statements and press conferences everybody calls everybody else names until eventually somebody mediates; the parties sit down round a table and reach a face saving solution for everybody concerned. These are all phases of a broader economic scheme known as Capitalism.

Capitalism is important because without it, we would have no millionaires, no entrepreneurs, no five star hotels, no golf courses, no shopping malls, no Planning Authority, and horror of horrors, no proper nouns and no suitable way to know when a new sentence or paragraph is starting.

People who oppose Capitalism are known as Socialists. Before the Berlin Wall – came down and Socialism became unfashionable, we had a Socialist Party in Malta. The basic difference between Capitalism and Socialism is that in a capitalistic society, the people think that they have the money and the power and that the Government works for them. In a socialist society, this is dismissed as pure fantasy because everybody knows that the people work for the Government.

Governments are like big multinational corporations. They sell a product called services, to the consumer on a system called PAYE and NI, which is very similar to a hire purchase scheme, except that in this case the consumer pays for the services before he receives them and lives in hope that he will receive them before he leaves this mortal coil. A case in point is roads. I paid my road contributions over 28 years ago and still do not have a properly surfaced road. These services can be quite expensive and are not durable at all, because like toilet paper and tampons you have to keep buying them on a regular basis, whether you want to or not. There is also another system called VAT where the consumer entrusts the vendor with the responsibility of paying the Government a tax on his behalf. Yeah! Right! And pigs will fly.

Back to the political side. There are two main parties in Malta, so established that either one can at any point in time, blame the other for whatever is wrong with the country, the economy or anything else under the sun, including Maghtab and Imnajdra. Each party has a leader called Il-Kap. The Leader of the party in power is called the Prime Minister. The Leader of the other party is called the Leader of the Opposition. There are thirteen wannabe Prime Ministers called Ministers; five wannabe Ministers called Parliamentary Secretaries and forty-nine wannabe something called Members of Parliament. The Leader of the Opposition is also a wannabe Prime Minister.

We, the people, elect these 68 people from amongst the multitudes to represent us in Parliament through a complex process that is held every five years called General Elections. Each party fields a number of candidates. Voters then analyse each candidate based on the issues for or against which he/she stands and which party he/she represents. After thoroughly taking into consideration the merits of each candidate (how much money he/she has spent on coffee mornings, how good he/she looks, how white his/her teeth are, what jobs/transfers/housing/tax cuts/increased social services he/she has promised or delivered), the informed voter chooses his/her candidates by marking a ballot paper. The party that has promised or delivered the most things and spent the most money on mass meetings and street parties, wins the elections and gets to flash obscene gestures at the losers, who are consigned to a section of purgatory called the Opposition benches to fume, curse and gnash their teeth for the next five years.

I realise that all this sounds flippant, but I have lost whatever little faith I ever had in the entire concept of democracy, because it seems to me that majority rule sucks for everyone but the majority. If you put three people in a boat and two want to go one way, but the third wants to go another way, tough for him. There are only two oars. The two who agree, the majority get the oars and get to decide which way the boat will go. It does not mean that the two are right and the one is wrong, it just means that it takes two to row and they are in charge because they are the majority. The one who dissents gets to fume or jump overboard. However, you can’t tell just under fifty percent of a population to fume or jump overboard. The majority is not always right and the minority is not always wrong. Each has different ideas about how to run their lives. So if I may break my own rule and make a political comment, why don’t these 68 people that we, the people elect, to run this country, get together, find some common ground and do what they’re supposed to be doing, instead of wasting the country’s time bickering, squabbling, arguing and calling each other names. After all the art of politics is compromise, or so I’ve been told.

garlic@di-ve.com
© The Garlic Press 2001