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There is always something to look forward to when plan A is unleashed and fails. Always remember: just give the impression that you have another plan, call it plan B. Plan B is the solution when you have failed miserably with plan A.
Do not worry – plan B is essentially a carbon copy of plan A.
Now, there is this uncanny feeling this newspaper is unforgiving and unfair in its critique. Yet we all agree that a Sunday morning minus the MaltaToday would turn out to be a dreary event, unless of course your idea of Sunday reading is spilling cornflakes over your T-shirt and getting hooked on the classified section.
When it comes to plan A I somehow always have these illusions of Dr Sant. In the case of Alfred Sant, plan A was all about being elected Prime Minister. In his case the new plan is called B.
The only difference is that in plan A he talks about ideas, in plan B he forgets all about them. He simply argues that he is best. He is hoping that since most are reneging on Gonzi, it means the keys at Castille will robotically land in his lap in two years’ time.
We now come to Lawrence, whom I have been advised is rather perceptive to my comments. Gonzi’s plan A is all about reviving the economy, but the indicators do not point to a success story.
Look at Cyprus, a divided country, also an island, also very, very small EU member states. And yet it is at the top of the EU’s new ten when it comes to economic growth. Malta by the way is lagging behind. Indeed it is last.
Now in the case of the PM there is no such thing as a plan B. Plan B is on the backburner, just in case Alfred Sant chooses to yawn and open his mouth. How the economy can be kicked into life and how the public can start talking about a feelgood factor beats me.
Today, the message tattooed on the foreheads of most ministers is that only a miracle can save the day. Not even Labour’s political farce in the Zrinzo father-and-son episode, or the Michael Falzon and Alfred Sant ‘best of friends act’ has helped to improve ratings for Gonzi.
Indeed, surveys not publicised on PBS for obvious reasons confirm that Dr Gonzi is at his lowest rating ever. Now Gonzi will argue that the media, and especially this one newspaper, have no intention of putting him in good light. Psychotherapists describe this condition as ‘paranoia’.
The simple truth is that the PM’s advisors, if there are any, are reading it all wrong. State-controlled media is so poor and pathetic that no one takes PBS seriously anymore.
So why should Gonzi unveil his plan B? First and foremost, plan B should be about giving the impression that change is not about excluding people. No matter what Lawrence says, his party has become more exclusive than ever before.
Proof of this will be the results of the next local council elections to be held in March, the drop in the sales of the party calandras, In-Nazzjon and il-mument, and the abysmal ratings of Net TV.
Plan B is also about opening up. Plan B is first and foremost about sensing the repercussions when decisions are taken. Did anyone weigh the chaos that would be brought through the eco-tax masterminded by George P? Did anyone advise the PM what the implications of the golf course proposal at Xaghra l-Hamra would be?
There is another reality which appears to be part of the Gonzi administration psyche. It is called siege mentality. In siege mentality, everyone becomes paranoid, the besieged, the defender, the attacker and the king. Which is why plan B is about opening up, making a truce and building bridges.
It also has a lot to do with understanding the people in the media. During the days of Eddie Fenech Adami’s personal assistant, the special thing about Malta’s most gifted spinner who today is semi-retired in a cosy job in Brussels, probably pontificating over rotting Brussels sprouts, was that he would still find a way of talking to scoundrels in the press and reaching out to ‘problem’ journalists such as my good self.
This time round, the government launches a pre-Budget outline in the middle of summer when all our eyes and hormones are set on the curvatures and voluptuous bodies on the beach. To ensure the whole event turns out to be a sexless political exercise, the PM’s PR man invites a select few, mostly ordinary journalists with little clout in influencing the editorial policy. The end result is that the media reserve the same enthusiasm for this ‘visionary’ proposal as they would for the trophy cabbage award of the year.
Plan B should have been about shooting the man who concocted this marketing exercise. As we listen to visions of how this economic revival is coming about we hear about people who have their tax tracked retroactively to the time when a pastizz tal-pizzelli cost 1c.
And I thought that Mintoff’s tax assessments were cruel. Plan B is about doing away with Mintoffian-styled politics and asking the bullish ministers to calm down. Plan B is about halting the transformation of our national TV station into an Orwellian nightmare. Plan B is about winning the confidence of those individuals who cannot see an alternative in Labour but still cry for someone to turn around their party to something acceptable and worthy.
UK minister for immigration Tony McNulthy is reported to have urged the Maltese to make a concerted effort to find a solution to the problem of illegal immigration instead of just being critical.
It has to be said that Mr McNulthy hails from a constituency where chicken tikka is the national dish. There is nothing wrong with that at all. I adore Indian food. But talk is cheap, and hence his sermon. Most of the refugees that flee Africa originate from former British colonies such as Sudan and Somalia.
The deprivation, the isolation and the imposition of policies throughout British rule makes up for some very fascinating reading. Sudanese and Somalis were not born in misery. Someone along the line contributed to investing in confusion and their misfortune. The fingers in these two countries point to the Anglo-Egyptian rule and British and Italian imperial interests in East Africa.
Tony McNulthy can say what he likes, but he cannot stand next to our rather average deputy Prime Minister and call on the Maltese to find solutions. Our ‘just about floating’ boats, which we prefer calling patrol boats after they were donated to us instead of rusting away in a US and German scrap yard, can hardly catch up with a luzzu.
Our armed forces are over-stretched and tired. Our police officers guard detention centres closed to journalists, instead of manning our police stations. Our Italian European friends to the north radio our soldiers and tell them to pick up distressed immigrants from their sinking boats. And our African neighbours to the south look the other way as they munch away at red peppers.
Senior police officers discuss how to feed Sudanese and Somalis, instead of solving local crime. And when we thought that becoming an EU country would fortify us with hope and security we are overwhelmed by the dispiriting attitude in Brussels. Then this McNulthy from Harrow East enters the fray and tells us to stop grumbling.
When he does return to his chicken tikka masala constituency, McNulthy should make it a point to read something about the way the peoples of Africa were dislodged and segregated by the policies of dim-witted rulers who revered Queen Victoria the same way the Japanese venerated Emperor Hirohito. McNulthy will realise for himself that they did little in the way of grumbling but plenty in the way of solutions.
Dr Borg should have turned to McNulthy and asked him to sod off. I could have… it would have only taken a look at plan B.
saviourbalzan@newsworksltd.com
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