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Matthew Vella gnaws into the showcase of Maltese music
The aftermath of the Song for Europe contest held no surprises on Friday evening. Egos clashed on the tackiest display of so-called Maltese talent. Lou Bondì apologising for his aside on the Maltasong board being interned at a mental hospital for choosing him to present the show, having berated the showcase for so many years, showed that what he lacks in guitar skills is made up by his shabby humour. Peter Busuttil, the show’s executive producer, took umbrage at Bondì for criticising the quality of Malta’s muzak parade. After all, why had Bondì accepted to present the show in the first place?
“I can’t see why he was so impudent as to present the show after criticising it for so long,” Busuttil says, whose production was under fire on Friday after two songs had to be sung again due to audio problems. “They are problems which happen every year. Many commented on how this was the best organised festival in the past six years.”
It was a festival dedicated to massage everybody’s ego, and now everyone had an axe to grind. Bondì was offered to present the show, along with television mainstay Eileen Montesin and Josef Bonello, a man whose television exploits included plying the streets and getting an unsuspected public to taste homegrown tomato concentrate.
Jumping into the fray was Grace Borg, the scorned queen of the music retail business, who last year resigned from chairman of the Maltasong board – the organising committee of the Song for Europe contest – after failing to enforce her iron rule over the way things had to be done. She has even called the new chairman, Robert Abela – who runs a plastic bag factory – a minister’s “yes” man.
She tendered for the production of the Song for Europe contest as well, after having been bumped out the front door: on Friday’s Xarabank she questioned how Bondì’s crew had hijacked winner Fabrizio Faniello for an interview. Everything, it seemed, had been hijacked by the Where’s Everybody crew, Bondì’s production company.
Even Ray Calleja, now a part of the WE atelier, went on stage to do what he knows best: camp things up, hamming it up as a taxi driving queen in that grand tradition of Maltese gender-bending humour. Side-splitting.
Peter Busuttil, who got the flak from Bondì on the quality of organisation, which he won with an Lm11,000 tender, was unimpressed by the TV journalist’s musical talents. “I don’t think he’s the only guitarist on this island. All they did was strum a couple of chords. The second part of the show started with Rachel Attard presenting the story of his life: if I wanted to watch Bondiplus I would have switched on the television on a Tuesday evening.”
“It was just a gentle and ironic lark,” presenter Lou Bondì says, “an attempt to inject some humour, most of it at my expense, into an event this country takes way too seriously. About the Beatles set, I still have to meet someone who did not enjoy hearing these classics.”
Yes, there was a lot of Bondì about. Not only was his journalist sidekick drafted on to the bill, but even his offspring was given the opportunity to present a bouquet to last year’s Eurovision runner-up Chiara, now in thinner, new, improved format. She even thanked the clinic which undertook the bold overhaul.
And indeed, Bondì played his guitar again, seemingly crowning an unaccomplished teenage quest for musical stardom. Having had his talents beamed across the entire Commonwealth, playing for CHOGM’s opening event – which he produced – and still no record company dropping him a line, the Song for Europe must have been the only logical route. Maybe he’d get more joy out of a Eurovision scout who doesn’t mind his leather jacket.
Eileen Montesin, the other presenter, was clearly miffed that Bondì also wanted to present the prizes without her or Josef Bonello. “Apparently it had been agreed to have him present the second part of the show, including the prize-giving. I realised this a fortnight before the show and protested, saying it would give the wrong impression. The Maltasong then proposed that Josef and I present the runner-up prizes, and Lou does first. But he would have nothing of it, and I only acquiesced not to jeopardise the festival or my role in it. I have been in the business for 26 years, and I always wanted to present the Song for Europe festival. I had no choice.”
Lou Bondì says that was the agreement reached with Maltasong. “Eileen wanted to change it and I disagreed. It’s as simple as that and there was certainly nothing personal against her. The problem is that because I have never understood how incredibly seriously some people take the Eurovision I failed to realise how important this was to her.”
Of course, little is said about Fabrizio Faniello, the star of the show, who topped the public poll and clinched a ticket to Athens to represent Malta at the Eurovision. His song ‘I Do’, whose catchy intro is a bad stammer, is already a favourite amongst Eurovision fans in Europe, according to Montesin: “I’ve had positive feedback. That is why I think the festival should be a show for the singer… not about presenters,” she quips.
Even Bondì says the song is “good Eurovision fare”, and that he wishes Faniello well. “I had a whale of a time… playing Beatles music live in such great musical company was pure joy. The audience response was tremendous and watching Hey Jude bring the house down gives you a kick that being on television cannot match.”
So what about the quality of the Maltese fare for the Eurovision, irredeemably formulaic, tacky and schmaltzy, still powerful enough to enchant the Maltese general public? Peter Busuttil says the showcase is the only stepping stone for Maltese artists. “Believe it or not, it’s the only way to make it. It has helped singers like Chiara, Ira Losco, and even Fabrizio Faniello get a foothold somewhere outside the island.”
Of course, whoever said it was about the music? The Eurovision celebrates European togetherness and nationality in the strangest of ways. Israel participates. Canadians and Moroccans have been drafted onto the bill to boost no-hopers’ chances. Italy will have nothing of it. This year a Maltese singer will form part of the Swiss entry. Nobody sings in their own language anymore. Is this what the festival created to promote peace and harmony in post-WWII Europe set out to show in 1956 – badly dressed Germans with a Rudi Voeller haircut and transsexuals showing off their best impression of a eunuch?
Maybe that’s what the Maltese like, too. Young crooners with silly hairstyles struggling with their English, cabaret queens flailing their arms about, clutching their hearts, thrusting the microphone worshipfully (singer J Anvil actually twiddles his fingers on the mic every time he hits a high note – but the tempting double entendre is unsuitable for publishing), toasting the power of love, and winking their eyes at every single camera shot. Don’t take it away from us: we hate it the way it is.
mvella@mediatoday.com.mt
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