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Now as you all know, I have little or no hang-ups for Arabs. Maltese are after all descendants of Arabs, speak a Semitic language, intrinsically ancient Arabic and have many similarities to Arabs. Indeed it now transpires that many moons ago many Maltese were Moslems, though most of the schoolbooks have tried very hard to hide this.
Yet most of us, including politicians, fail to appreciate the Arabs or their way of conducting business.
Indeed many an Arab diplomat has told me that some senior Maltese government ministers show contempt towards Arabs in general. But then this observation could simply be one of those cucati that gets repeated in this column.
“You just have to look at his body language, apart from his choice of words,” one soft spoken diplomat told me.
So after that short preamble, here is the story of Abdul, his daughter and the camels.
Once upon a time there was a camel trader, a merchant in other words. His name was Bin Gatt.
Now, Bin Gatt was a hard abrasive man, his roots were deep from the heart of the desert. Not an easy man to negotiate with, but a serious man. Yet he needed to sell his camels to ensure that his tribe continued to live in harmony and prosperity.
One fine day, a rich Bedouin, known simply by the family name of Abdul Smart visited Bin Gatt and informed him he wished to purchase all his camels,
Bin Gatt was over the moon, but he responded cautiously saying that he would consider whether to sell his camels.
Bin Gatt rushed off to his Emir, the rightful carefully chosen one to King Faisal Adami the Emir Gonzi, to inform him of this splendid news.
The Emir had other ideas; conscious his tribesmen were mumbling between themselves that he was suffering from lassitude, he announced with much pomp and little solemnity that one of his more faithful and dynamic servants had found a buyer for the emirate’s camels.
The Emir’s devoted captain Dragut Saliba could not hold back his excitement, and proceeded to organise a grand feast naming it, the Abdul Smart feast without informing Bin Gatt.
Bin Gatt was not content, he knew Abdul Smart to be a very smart Bedouin and he was well aware that Abdul Smart would take full advantage of the not very clever impression that Bin Gatt wanted to sell his camels.
In the meantime a rival, the Caliph Sant made it known that he was not at all happy with the sale of camels to Bedouins.
To drive his point home, the Caliph dispatched his emissar Sheikh Hamilton to meet Abdul Smart and ponder some very hard questions.
Checking his agenda, Sheikh Hamilton met Abdul Smart on a Saturday evening, putting to him some very disobliging comments instead of questions on why Bin Gatt’s camels suffered from so much wind and why Bin Gatt’s camels tended to spend too much time flirting with each other.
This led the Emir Gonzi to accuse the Caliph of subterfuge.
Now not many of you are acquainted with Abdul Smart, but word has it that Abdul Smart is really far too sharp, indeed far too brainy for the combined smartness of Bin Gatt, Emir Gonzi, Dragut Saliba, the Caliph Sant and Sheikh Hamilton put together.
Sitting in his tent in the desert off Dubai, Abdul looked to the skies and said to himself: “I’ve got it, I will barter my unsightly daughter for all of Bin Gatt’s camels. Bin Gatt will refuse the offer and my daughter and I will say that we are offended. Then I will wait for him to beg me to buy his camels. The price then will be just what I have hoped for.”
Finally Abdul Smart met Bin Gatt. Bin was accompanied as always by his faithful Christian slave Claudius who carried the contract for the camel sale.
The reaction to Abdul’s proposal was, to say the least, unprintable. Even the Emir Gonzi was shocked by the news and very depressed by the outcome.
Nonetheless he was brave enough to muster a valiant grin.
Back in his palace the Caliph too had a smirk, but for a very different reason.
Drinking a glass of Scottish water, the Caliph muttered.
“Serves Bin Gatt right.”
Followed by a burp.
But Bin Gatt was not going to have his honour tarnished by a Bedouin by the name of Abdul and at a gathering of tribesman at the Emir’s palace on Monday for a lamb and couscous bash, he said: “Not even the Prophet Mohammed, Peace be upon him, would have accepted such an insult. I will not trade my camels for that wretched revolting and disgusting daughter or offer my camels to Abdul Smart for a miserly sum.”
And to that remark the gathering of wise men countered: “Bin Gatt, Bin Gatt … he’s our man.”
It was then that the Emir dug his mottled face in his hands and mumbled to his devoted acolyte Dragut Saliba … “We are my dear Dragut f******, simply f******!”
To have the RyanAir boss gloat that he loves to take advantage of cheap advertising is just unbearable. Everyone seems to think that the arrival of RyanAir will solve all our problems.
I simply cannot understand what got into the Tourism Minister to greet Ryan Air as if he were an oil tanker from the Santa Marija Convoy.
The RyanAir chief must be enjoying all the publicity.
He said he loves all news even if it is bad news.
The real good thing about RyanAir is that it has kicked AirMalta and British Airways to lower their prices to Lm15 and Lm14 one way.
Well, the bad news is that our problems are not linked to a few flights to Luton and Pisa. Our life, our quality of life is not dependant on how much money RyanAir makes.
Tourism is not the be-all and end-all in our lives.
Norman Lowell, the right wing fascist has libelled three journalists from this newspaper including yours truly. It is one way of getting some free publicity I guess. Nothing will change the truth about Mr Lowell and his followers, together with the other right wing movement led by Martin DeGiorgio.
Lowell and DeGiorgio harbour ideas and arguments that are anathema to a modern European country.
Nothing will stop me from fighting extremism.
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