'Shit happens', court told by man who used marker to deface paving around Triton fountain

A man has been ordered to pay for defacing the pavement around the recently restored Triton fountain in Valletta.

Marcus Wilhelm Einar Nordqvist, 31, from Sweden was accused of damaging the pavement with a marker pen, and living an idle and vagrant life.

Arraigned before Magistrate Grazio Mercieca, Nordqvist pleaded guilty. “I messed up your streets. I’m sorry,” he told the court sarcastically.

The accused swaggered into the courtroom, wearing shiny gold shoes and with a cigarette perched behind his ear. He refused the court’s offer of appointing a legal aid lawyer. “No need for it. Give me some alcohol and I’ll clean it,” he said with reference to the graffiti.

Inspector Priscilla Caruana Lee said the man had no fixed address and no means of making a living. “Not yet, soon,” said the accused, fidgeting with a piece of paper.

The accused appeared to be treating his situation with what can only be described as disdain, taking off his jacket halfway through the sitting and standing with his hands in his pockets. 

“Give me a laptop maybe I’ll call my mother, watch some music on Youtube later,” shrugged the accused when asked if he wanted to contact anyone, having refused an offer to invoke the assistance of the Swedish embassy.

In view of the admission of guilt, the accused was handed a one month prison sentence, suspended for one year on condition that he pays €150 to the government within three months. 

Nordqvist laughed openly at the sentence.

“If you don’t pay you will go to prison,” warned the magistrate. “Shit happens,” remarked the accused, waving his hands in a peace sign.