Embrace the madness: Congrats, you’ve cracked the Maltese electorate coping code

What are we skinning? Malta’s population density officially hitting record numbers while heat levels soar across the globe, and our over-tourism and construction frenzy show no signs of abating.

Why are we skinning it? Because it’s an appropriately apocalyptic mood with which to usher in that iconically sweaty mid-August vibe.

Weren’t we always hot and dense around this time of year, though? Yes, but it’s (quite literally) a matter of degree… or rather, degrees.

Bah, you can only be tipped over the edge if you care about the edge to begin with. How are you handling the August madness, then?

By embracing the madness and acting like it’s perfectly normal… nay, desirable. Congrats, you’ve cracked the Maltese electorate coping mechanism code.

What is that? First off, it’s about assuming that our elected officials have our best interests at heart, and that it’s the pesky rivals – the ‘Other’, as it were – who you need to watch out for and keep at bay at all times. This Other can manifest itself as either a political party – in this case more often than not being the perpetually beleaguered and self-sabotaging PN – or foreigners who have come her lured by false promises but whom you will blame for their misfortunes, as well as – crucially – your very own.

Oh yes, my brain is already relaxing when thinking along those lines. Any other way you can help me? Well, you can also choose to believe that the economic model we’re pursuing is not a destructive zero-sum game that has led to – among other things – the encroaching and irreversible effects of climate change. In fact, you think that all this talk of climate change is really just media sensationalism created to drum up clicks and outrage.

Thank you for that. I’m feeling a lot better now. Glad I could be of service. As for myself, I’ll chose other modes of relaxation during this period.

Like what? I will step aside and step inside – I will embrace the silence that comes with keeping away from the heat and going through the motions of some of the Church and family traditions that come with the period.

I’ve never had you pegged as a religious type. Be that as it may, and the lesser of two evils being an ever-present choice in our day-to-day existence, the meditative balm of re-enacting ancient tradition can sometimes trump the immediate gratification we get from the destructive churn of more recent habits.

Do say: “For many, the Santa Marija period is marked by quiet streets as you take shelter from the heat indoors with family members, popping in for the occasional swim during the cooler hours. Perhaps taking solace in such calming tradition is the perfect balm against the recent, round-the-clock chaos we’ve all had to contend with.”

Don’t say: “The trolls will tell you that population density is either a good thing because it means more and more people want to come to Malta because it’s awesome, or that it’s bad because it’s the fault of immigrants who come here willy-nilly and out of their own choice. But we should seize the opportunity of taking over their troll-caves as they’ve vacated them to argue with strangers, and enjoy the cool cave breeze as we finally get a good night’s sleep this summer.”