Film Review | Piranha 3DD

It’s a shame Piranha 3DD has left our cinemas, because in a lot of ways it’s the perfect summer movie for our E Entertainment!-saturated times.

Fishy business: mutated piranhas once again prey on hapless – and often busty – youths in this horror-comedy sequel.
Fishy business: mutated piranhas once again prey on hapless – and often busty – youths in this horror-comedy sequel.

The horror comedy sequel - whose original was, in turn, a reboot of a B-movie not-quite-franchise that nobody really missed - is more of a Scary Movie-style parody than a genuinely thrilling monster movie which just happens to be funny - whether intentionally or not.

Still, being regaled with images of superficial college graduates being torn to pieces by invading piranha (despite their rending fangs, the creatures are rendered in CGI so low-rent they will only scare the truly squeamish) is, it seems, a fun premise for many.

But though we get more than enough of the 'double-Ds' promised in its title and enough so-bad-it's-good moments to make this a fun night in with some friends and alcohol, it's so lazily put together that you end up craving more.

If you've seen the trailer, you'll know that Piranha 3DD is basically a re-tread of its 2010 predecessor.

Much to the chagrin of his marine biologist stepdaughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), water park owner Chet (David Koechner) tranforms his venue, 'The Big Wet', into a full-on titty-fest for the summer - complete with stripper lifeguards and an adult-only nude section.

But when Maddy and her group of stereotypical horror film fodder friends - there's the jerk ex-boyfriend who's now a cop, the dweeby, well-meaning guy with a crush on our lead, and Maddy's vacuous-cum-slutty girlfriend/s - discover that Chet may just be pumping water that's host to an army of mutated killer piranhas who want nothing more than to feast of Chet's nubile patrons.

The problem with Piranha 3DD is not that it's a trashy, schlocky mess - it would be foolish to expect anything else - but that it's too deliberate in being so.

Worse, director John Gulager never quite attacks the material with enough relish. Granted, there are a few blackly funny, over-the-top set pieces, and amusing cameos by Pulp Fiction hardass Ving Rhames (reprising his role as the sheriff from the original, sans - organic - legs) and David Hasselhoff (as himself) help to buttress the comedy.

Hasselhoff's cameo, ceremoniously declared in the movie's trailer, does not disappoint. It's always fun to see the Hoff mocking his own past-it persona. It's a move that, shrewdly enough, makes him less of a has-been television hunk and more of a comedian, and here, propped up as a token lifeguard by Chet thanks to his role in Baywatch (only to find himself stumped when the piranhas finally attack), he gets to milk that persona for a couple of genuine, laugh-out-loud moments.

And it's almost saved by some genuinely wacky, devil-may-care moments of grotesque parody horror. One of these is a kind-of spoof of Alien's 'chest burster' scene (more recently replayed in Prometheus) with added sexual awkwardness, and a stomach churning bit of organ-chopping that pushes it into genuine 'video nasty' territory.

The chaotic ending also delivers on the gory-grotesque front: an unexpected (and honestly, somewhat baffling) decapitation results in a hilarious encounter with the eponymous 'double-Ds'...

But in the end, this just emerges as a pale imitation of its successful predecessor. While its brief running time (just over an hour) may seem like a sensible decision, the fact that a good 15 minutes is dedicated to outtakes and post-movie silliness just hammers home how lazily-constructed a project this really was.

Still. I can picture this as an enjoyable romp to watch on TV during a lazy Sunday with friends and, preferably, a substantial amount of free-flowing alcohol.

Also, it's worth remember that Hollywood mega-director James Cameron (he of Titanic and Avatar) had in fact made his debut directing Piranha II (1981) - something of an ancestor to this very sequel.

He claims not to have actually done all that much 'directing' on the critically-panned B-movie since he was, in fact, a last minute replacement.

Still, it's fun to be able to shove that in his smug, overpaid face.