A week of weirdness

Sometimes a week comes along when everything you see online just makes you say, huh? 

Three large concrete balls are placed in the middle of a crossroads, apparently put there by the authorities. The cock-eyed reasoning, from what I can gather, is to prevent people from parking haphazardly on the marked lines. 

As the public quickly pointed out (in between the predictable jokes about playing boċċi), these things will eventually lead to an accident, car damage, personal injury, or worse. 

Who dreams up these ideas, and how is this person still in charge?  Whether it came from the local council or central government, there needs to be accountability for stupid, hare-brained schemes which impact all our lives. His or her head should roll, along with those balls which should be rolled out of there and sent back to wherever they came from. 

Next on the mind-boggling list of bizarre ideas by pencil pushers, I ask you to cast your eyes on the photos doing the rounds of the ramp leading down to Għar Lapsi. The Mayor of Siggiewi proudly uploaded the photos to show how the ramp has been covered by black tarmac… and, understandably, social media exploded in anger and dismay. The fact that he was completely oblivious to the kind of reaction he would get speaks volumes. 

I can only conclude that those who are in charge either have a strong aversion to leaving natural things alone or else are simply ignorant when it comes to aesthetics. Of course, there is also the third possibility - this decision to pour asphalt on every nook and cranny throughout the whole country means that certain companies are receiving lucrative public contracts. 

As someone cleverly pointed out in a photoshopped image… It’s not Project Green so much as Project Greed. 

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And now… to other news. Our already over-stretched courts have been particularly busy lately because of one individual, Gordon Manché. To date, he has sued three different people because of humorous remarks they made about him which he has taken literally. It all started in January 2022 when satirical writer of Bis-Serjetà fame, Matt Bonanno, wrote a FB comment suggesting that the evangelical group River of Love (run by the pastor) should be relocated to Buġibba, “then carpet bomb. Two birds with one stone”. He also wrote that the group should be “treated exactly like ISIS”. 

Now, what he wrote cannot be taken in isolation; the context is particularly relevant since the man who killed Pauline Dembska had just admitted to attending River of Love meetings. Bonanno pointed out that his comments were “clearly satirical and hyperbolic in nature, and a reaction to this shocking crime.” 

Next to face Manché’s wrath was stand-up comedian Daniel Xuereb, after he joked about River of Love pastor Gordon Manché being “Malta’s biggest asshole”. Again, context is important. Xuereb was referring to remarks which Manché had made himself during one of his ‘sermons’ about anal sex. (At the risk of using a hackneyed phrase, you really cannot make this stuff up). 

Finally, this week Manché set his sights on the artistic director of Teatru Malta Sean Buhagiar. His crime? In a show of support, he simply repeated what had been said by the others before him, encouraging fellow artists to do the same. Buhagiar also pointed out precisely why we need to protect satire if we really believe in free speech: “A collective response could create a tidal wave of satire. Then what? Take everyone to court? Of course, we would be lampooning; we would be asserting that satire is a vital art form that should be embraced by all, unless one has something to hide.” 

Sure enough, as if to prove that he really takes himself much too seriously for his own good, Manché filed a criminal report against Buhagiar as well. 

The way I see it, the problem with people like Manché (let me hasten to add, in my opinion - just so that he doesn’t sue me) is that they are so wrapped up in their own little world, and have so little self-awareness, that they fail to realise just how ridiculous they seem to the outside world. 

Is he really going to spend his time reporting everyone who criticises him or calls him names to the police? Rather than sympathy, his petulant behaviour is actually begging for even more jokes to be directed his way. 

Sure enough, right on cue, Bis-Serjetà came out with a hilarious parody with the title “Gordon Manché files police report against himself”. In fact, with someone who is acting like such a cry baby, I think it would have been even funnier if there were a bunch of childish taunts all over FB like “Gordon Manché is a poo poo head.”  I amused myself for a good half hour thinking up variations on a similar theme and imagined him reporting something like that to the police. 

If he has anyone advising him, they should really tell him to put a stop to all this nonsense because the more he tries to waste the court’s time with these frivolous police reports, the more people will make fun of him. Meanwhile, two ministers have spoken up about this whole kerfuffle.  

Home Affairs Minister Byron Camilleri pointed out that the police should not become “a tool in the hands of extremists who want to stifle the arts and freedom of expression… We need more satire and fewer people spreading stupidity and hatred.” 

Culture Minister Owen Bonnici also said, “Let me be clear: it is absolutely not acceptable for people to be allowed to abuse laws to silence artists.” 

Both ministers said they will work together to review whether any legal changes are needed to protect satire and art.  Hopefully, the law courts will use common sense and throw these cases out so that they can focus on dealing with the real criminals.  

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From the weird to the downright depressing. 

Each week there are the inevitable stories about areas which will be taken over by even more residential developments and hotels. Even if we are not made aware of them through the news we see the evidence with our own eyes every time we drive - construction site after construction site crawling with mostly imported workers.  

All these people need to live somewhere and I often wonder if they are actually building the same apartment blocks which they end up living in themselves. 

It’s a chicken and egg situation of over-development and over-population as one industry feeds off the others in a greedy merry-go-round which no one has the spine to stop. 

In the meantime, the news that a case officer has recommended the approval of a 31-storey hotel in Tigne’ on the 19th century Fort Cambridge barracks (where the Holiday Inn used to be) is just further proof that this whole misguided economic model is out of control. 

Apart from the need for this historic building to be protected, there will be the detrimental impact on the surroundings and the huge inconvenience to residents until this hotel is finished. Just ask those who live in Qawra (to name one area) what chaos they have had to endure while works take place at two of the major hotels. 

But even more pertinently - why do we keep building more hotels? Or opening more restaurants, pubs, cafes? How are they going to find all the employees to run them unless they keep hiring people from abroad? There are barely any Maltese people left on the unemployment register and staff shortages are the biggest problem faced throughout the hospitality industry. On the one hand, there are complaints about too many foreign workers who cannot speak English who keep arriving on the island and yet there are those who still argue that without construction “Malta’s economy will grind to a halt”. 

With this kind of reasoning, I wonder, how did we manage before this construction boom started? I don’t recall any homeless people or anyone begging in the streets - we got by well enough.  It cannot be repeated enough: the decision of what needs to be done does not take much brain power and is squarely in the hands of those who dreamt up this reliance on the construction industry in the first place.