Helping others makes us feel connected

Feeling lonely is familiar to almost everyone, much more so for the elderly. Meaningful social relationships are critical to both our mental and physical health and we spend a lifetime building up these very relationships only to see them crumble as we age.  Friends and family start passing away, perhaps mobility issues and fatigue don’t allow us to attend social events any longer and the kids who are now adults have to work and look after their own children. All these factors lead many elderly to find themselves spending more and more time alone.

The big issue is that being lonely can still lead to health problems, such as depression, which is prevalent among our senior citizens who more often than not choose not to complain and burden their children, and end up suffering in silence, which increases their stress, starting a downward spiral, since loneliness and depression go hand in hand. Lonely people tend to see a stressful situation as much worse than it actually is. Lonely people react strongly to stressful situations because they don’t have adequate social support in their daily lives. To make matters worse, they also get less joy out of positive experiences, as they often can’t share their joy with others.

Loneliness doesn’t only lead to mental and emotional problems but can also make us physically ill. Being alone makes us less inclined to look after our health, eat properly, dress properly and even wash properly, leading to a variety of health issues at an age where one should be doubling their efforts to remain healthy and independent.

Maintaining good relationships with people around us isn’t just about having something to do at the weekend, it’s a crucial part of living a healthy life.

Depending on an individual’s situation one can either seek help in the form of a carer companion or decide to help others themselves either as a paid carer or as a volunteer with one of the many wonderful institutions we have.

Helping others makes us feel connected. Even if the gesture is small, like helping someone cross the road, the effect is the same. So if you want to feel happier and less isolated from people, make an effort to be kind! The happiness we feel when we help others selflessly is called helper’s high. It’s a powerful feeling.

Hospice nurses, for example, have been identified as some of the happiest people in the world. Although their work environment is really tough and sad, nurses build deep connections with their patients, a process that is extremely rewarding.

On the other hand seeking help is not a sign of weakness and does not necessarily mean it is forever. It could be for a period of hardship where a helping hand can really do wonders and give a person a shoulder to lean on. No one should think it is normal to feel lonely. Knowing there is someone to speak to and share thoughts, ideas or even a cup of tea with, can make a big difference in an elderly person’s life, especially when the rest of the family are busy working and shuttling kids around.

The key to making it all work is choosing what to do in the case of helping others.  Make sure you choose something you enjoy and are capable of doing. Even if it is cooking for others or taking someone shopping.  Small things can make a big difference to your life and those you choose to help, so nothing is trivial. 

On the other hand when asking for help, make sure the person brought in to help is someone you like and can end up friends with. Someone you feel comfortable cooking with, having a cup of tea with, or going out shopping with. Language is essential as much as culture and background. It would be useless having someone around you that you cannot communicate with as it would do nothing to alleviate loneliness or cultivate a meaningful social relationship.

Whatever one chooses it is never best to do nothing. It is better to be or feel alone and it is never too late to seek help or trying something new. Doing something about loneliness can only bring about a positive outcome in your life and that of others.

For example, here at Seniors Helping Seniors we do our best to match personalities and activity levels and to encourage a strong friendship that is developed as we complete various activities throughout the day together. Like getting a little help from your friends. Making another person a priority in your life, even for a few hours a day, adds years to your soul. The people who have joined us in our work are very special and very special to us. They receive the benefits of adding joy, energy and purpose to the lives of others.