Metamorphosis

Snoop Dogg enters the footnotes of Maltese history when he tells a Times journalist to ask better questions...

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect." (Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis)

Change has become something of a buzzword these days, a close relative of other marketing jargon like ‘challenges’ and ‘forward-looking’ and that awful word ‘pro-active’. But change is, at best, a neutral concept, certainly not always positive. It can, to give but one example, result in some pretty devastating consequences for neighbourhoods and coastlines. And what are we to make of cosmetic surgery, that lucrative business by which we attempt to simultaneously halt and bring about change?

As the summer slumber sets in and the dust settles following an acrimonious referendum campaign, the political quiet is palpable. And, truth be told, after the bold words and the invocation of assorted deities in the name of this or that cause, the calm is somehow unsettling.

The armies did battle and the generals locked horns over principles and world-views in a costly conflict which involved the entire population in what was, perhaps, an unnecessary escalation of events. If the Battle for Divorce didn’t quite amount to a full-blown religious war, it certainly contained all the ingredients of an ideological conflict. This was no minor skirmish on the sidelines. It was, as the Prime Minister himself put it, a historical decision.

And yet…

The dust settles, summer sets in and we languidly zap to more entertaining things… like Snoop Dogg’s (fairly predictable) alabiebzobbu attitude which culminated in that much-commented non-interview over at The Times online and which will most certainly end up being the most discussed cultural event this year.

People were actually moved to anger, believe it or not. Here is but one choice comment off The Times comments board:

« Li kont flok il-gurnalisti u jkellimni hekk kont inlibbislu l-microphone go halqu, snienu nerfahhomlu (sic) fil-barnuza u nghidlu ‘now you gotta wait…for some vet to check you up… »

My oh my! What anger in those words Mr Online Commenter! How quickly and valiantly you stick up for your honour and pride! And yet when it comes to the really important issues, all this anger dissipates into thin air. The really powerful folks (to be distinguished from your solitary visiting bad boy rap artist), the centres of political power, have remained largely unchallenged for the past half a century or so.

While Mr and Mrs Angry Commenters elsewhere in Europe have backed new voices on the political stage, propelling new ideas and lending their support to genuinely fresh political programmes and formations, Mr and Mrs Angry Maltese Commenters continue to fall in line no matter how misguided, anachronistic or downright opportunistic their sacred cows have shown themselves to be.

So while Snoop Dogg’s more or less harmless antics really seem to have pissed off a good chunk of the populace - and at least one well-known person engaged in his own spot of dissing - we appear to be far, far more indulgent when it comes to the island’s overlords. We don’t tell them to eff off and "never return to these shores" when they get things horribly wrong.

Quite the contrary, in fact. We are amazingly forgiving and do our level best to reward lack of vision and gross opportunism, even when it hits us repeatedly in the face. It happened over Europe with Labour and stands a big chance of happening over divorce with the Nationalists. My advice would be to pay particular attention to the fence-sitters, those ‘smart’ political operators who only emerge from the woodwork when les jeux sont faits, rien ne va plus, when change is not only an option but becomes a matter of survival or convenience.

Watching them reposition themselves must be one of the more distasteful occupational hazards which come with observing local politics.

So while change is on the cards and in the air, it might not be amiss to consider whether we’d be at all impressed if Snoop Dogg returned ‘to our shores’ next year dressed as Padre Pio.