‘Systematic destruction of a person’: Humiliated by bullies, ostracised by school, ignored by authority

Grabbed by the throat in the school toilet and threatened by a fellow student, 13-year-old Jacob’s (not his real name) life was overturned two years ago.

As the bully’s fingers pressed against Jacob’s neck, a second student looked on while another stood watch near the door. A few days later they sent Jacob a message, threatening him that he will end up with more than a scar.

The incident marked a sinister turn in a story of repeated verbal abuse and bullying Jacob had endured at the private independent school where he attended.

After the toilet incident, Jacob’s parents went to the police because the school failed to take action against the boys who threatened their son.

The case is ongoing in the juvenile court.

But the bullying did not stop there. The school intervention consisted of keeping Jacob apart from the gang of bullies ‘for his own protection’. The move ostracised him from the rest of his friends, who feared being victimised by the bullies if they spoke or played with Jacob.

When I sit down with Jacob’s parents they have mixed emotions about their son’s experience – anger, frustration and a sense of helplessness.

Philip and Joyce (not their real names) feel that the school let down their son when it failed to take concrete action to discipline the bullies. “The school’s response was weak and as a result Jacob ended up socially ostracised – he was victimised for a second time because of the school’s inept response,” they tell me.

‘Systematic destruction of a person’

They recount how even when schools went online last year because of the pandemic, Jacob was subjected to remote bullying. He was mocked, ridiculed and challenged to fights. And at one point a fake Instagram account impersonating him was created.

“This was organised, systematic destruction of a person,” Joyce says as she leafs through multiple screen shots of offensive Instagram messages directed at her son. Offensive messages were also sent via the school’s Teams portal and deleted immediately while the teacher was conducting her explanation.

Joyce feels that the school’s inability to deliver a strong response to the toilet incident emboldened the group of bullies. They continue to taunt Jacob online in horrible ways, she adds.

The parents sought help from the Anti-bullying Unit within the education ministry but they were informed that independent schools fall outside their purview.

“From what we were told, educational officials can visit independent schools but only if invited and even then, they can only make suggestions,” Philip and Joyce recount.

They point to the efficient and effective response the educational authorities had in the wake of shocking video footage that emerged recently of a 12-year-old girl assaulted by fellow students. The girl attended a state school and although the incident did not happen on school grounds, disciplinary action was taken and help provided to the victim and the bullies.

“It hurts to see the swift action and condemnations after this incident by the ministry because a video surfaced online but our call for help fell on deaf ears when we approached the education department about our son’s problem,” Joyce says.

Financial conflict of interest

She believes children attending independent schools have a right to enjoy the same level of safeguarding afforded to students in government schools.

“We feel that independent schools should be better regulated because management has a serious conflict of interest when dealing with bullies whose parents are supporting the school financially,” Philip and Joyce tell me.

MaltaToday has sought answers from the education ministry on the remit of the Anti-bullying Unit when a case involves an independent school. The ministry said the Anti-Bullying Service provides support to schools, recommendations for strategies and actions to be taken as well as follow ups.

"Referrals to the Anti-Bullying Service can be made by any school, and by members of the public. However it cannot force school administrations to implement recommendations," the ministry said.

When asked whether reviews of anti-bullying strategies and implementation are carried out as part of licensing conditions for private schools, the ministry said external evaluations are carried out routinely.

"As the licensing body, the Department for Quality and Standards in Education routinely carries out external evaluations of institutions holding a license to operate a school. Donations received by schools should in no way influence the professional decisions taken by the school. If suspected, an external review would be able to investigate such a situation," the ministry said.

However, Jacob's experience does not back up this assertion since his parents' pleas appear to have been dismissed by the educational authorities.

A conference on restorative justice in schools organised by the Malta Foundation for the Well-being of Society last week, heard how there were 366 referrals for bullying to the specialised unit. However, only two cases came from independent schools – one from a middle school and another from a secondary school.

Philip argues that independent schools may not have the motivation to take tough action against bullies since they depend on the money parents pay. He says the lacuna should be addressed.

“If a school takes tough action it runs the risk of having parents pulling their children out of the school with the consequence of losing thousands of euros in revenue and possibly other benefits if the family has business connections,” Philip says.

Suffering in silence

Jacob’s parents believe that the educational authorities, which ultimately issue operating licences for educational establishments, should have the ability and duty to ensure anti-bullying procedures in independent schools are not only in place but also followed.

“After all, any establishment that is regulated is subject to inspections and law enforcement were necessary and we don’t see why independent schools should be treated differently,” they say.

Their appeal is a call for action so that bullying victims like their son do not suffer further victimisation at the hands of school management, who should be protecting them.

“Our son is now dealing with the consequences of the bullying he has had to endure at school but our appeal is for the authorities to take the issue of bullying in independent schools as seriously as they do in State schools,” Philip and Joyce say.

They know that any changes will do little for their son now but they hope action will be taken for the benefit of many children who are suffering in silence.

Notes:

• Names have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved.
• The print version of this article which appeared on Sunday did not include the ministry's reply since it was only sent to this newspaper after publication.