Social worker Frances Mallia: “I didn’t have it easy. But looking back, I believe life is what you make of it”

At what age did you start studying social work at university?

I went to university at the age of 40.

Why did you leave it so late in your life to start your university course, when I’ve always known you speaking about your love for studying since you were very young?

Precisely because I didn’t have the resources to study before. When I was at school I was always completely focused on my studies and loved learning about everything. Nothing else mattered. Somehow, I knew that if I take my studies seriously I will manage to get out of the darkness that characterised my childhood and youth.

And why social work?

Probably it was the fact that I was always empathic and wanted to help other people.

Where did this passion to help others come from?

Family always turned to me for advice and guidance.  I was always a good listener even when the friends of my children came to our home. Relationships are very important to me and I developed many special bonds with them. One particular situation I remember was when a friend of my daughter Abigail was ‘coming out’ and he wanted to talk about this transition. I felt very humbled and very special that he chose me. It meant he felt safe confiding in me. I think that the fact that others felt they could trust me made me even more eager to help.

I did not have an easy childhood, and this is putting it mildly. My father was an alcoholic, a good man nonetheless, but this problem ate him up. Even though he had a good salary very little ended up in the family coffers. We lived in poverty with very limited if any resources whatsoever. We lived in a slum area (kerrejja) in Hamrun. It was chaotic. We lived in two rooms and had a very tiny toilet. As children, we would only wash completely once a week in a basin. We were the underdogs in our community and indeed, we were pushed aside by those around us because of where we lived, and because of our dysfunctional family. My mother had to keep borrowing money to be able to sustain us. We always seemed to lack the essentials in life. I remember very distinctly that as a 14-year-old girl I used to promise myself that when I have my children of my own I would make sure they would not go through this. Family for me was always important.

Was it all doom and gloom?

No... I remember going to the beach, or going out on Sundays with my aunt and uncle. This brought some respite to what I would be experiencing on a day-to-day basis. We also had the love of my grandfather, which I treasure to this day. Other than that, as a little girl it was a cycle I thought I would never manage to break away from.

Was going to university a dream that developed in time?

No, no. I always wanted to go to university but I knew it was impossible for me to achieve that target. We just couldn’t afford it and I had to go out to work. I remember once being on a school visit to the University of Malta, hoping that one day I would come here too. Somehow I didn’t believe that dream would materialise.

I always refer to you as our own ‘Florence Nightingale’, taking on children and rescue animals...

[Laughs] Yes, I was always taking on children who had problems – either at home or refugees, or people dealing with personal issues! I wanted to be there for them.

Some stayed on for as long as 13 years; others I have adopted, others know they will find me whenever they need. It also created quite a financial burden on me. I would have to cook and pay bills for 10 people at a time. Somehow, I managed but it became quite a chore.

But there was no way I could abandon these children. Most still keep in touch with me. I was actually the first separated person to adopt in Malta, and it took the court magistrate some convincing, but I managed at the end.

I believe that children need a strong adult’s presence and I tried to fill in this role when the children who crossed my path did not have that presence.

What are your core beliefs?

I believe in goodness. And I love doing what is right and helping others because it gives me satisfaction. To a certain degree there is an element of selfishness, but it is why most people do good things. I am also motivated by other peoples’ pain. Let’s face it: it’s enjoyable to help. I am also motivated by other peoples’ pain.

What is so special about social work?

It is the opportunity to connect with people. It is the satisfaction of seeing people grow. It is a profession that gives hope to so many people who are at the margins of society.

What kept you going in life?

Notwithstanding the difficulties I had to face during most of my life, such as the issues I had to tackle as I was growing up, or my broken marriage, which did not work out, and the serious and difficult problems my son Jon got himself into, the struggles my daughter Abigail endured growing up, or the endless number of children needing my help, I still believe that what made me get on with life is eliminating the emotion of bitterness and anger and instead transforming that into positive energy with tangible, practical actions.

How did your children feel about the fact that you shared your life with so many other children?

They had no issue as far as I know. They considered them brothers and sisters. Obviously, when they were going through difficult times and I was all alone trying to sort out these problems, it was very difficult to manage – but I never gave up on them.

How many children did you support?

This is a difficult one. I cannot remember exactly but there must have been at least 15 children I was directly involved in from all walks of life, from so many different countries, backgrounds and religions.

What do you think is the biggest satisfaction in your life?

I believe that seeing my children settle down, establishing themselves in the professions they are so passionate about, is what makes me happy. My achievement in life is that the people I met and who crossed my path every day made me a better person, and I hope I have contributed positively to their life.

…and animals?

Oh, they are of the most importance in my life.

Why?

Because they depend entirely on me. And I always go for rescue animals. I love them so much. They make me happy.

Final words...?

I didn’t have it easy. But looking back I believe that life is what you make of it!