Let’s face it: Floren played the Malta-Monopoly game and won like a true girlboss

What are we skinning? Florinda (Floren) Sultana’s arrest on money laundering charges related to her stepfather Darren Debono’s oil smuggling operation.

Why are we skinning it? We simply can’t not.

That’s a strong statement. Okay *deep breath* So the stepdaughter of a former footballer involved in a scandalously intricate oil smuggling operation between Malta and Libya, is accused of helping launder money from said smuggling through companies which she co-fronted with a former high-ranking BNF Bank official, using two fish restaurants - in Valletta and M’xlokk - to funnel the cash.

Yeah that’s pretty scandalous, alright. But that’s not what makes it *pure* Skinny material.

Oh? You see, Floren Sultana also made something of a splash in the run-up to the 2013 election…

You mean to tell me that her fate is intertwined with the upward climb of the Labour Party and the Muscat years? In some ways, their subsequent downfall too (reputational, anyway).

Do elaborate, then… Remember that ‘Courage to Vote’ ad aimed at pressing home the point that Muscat’s PL is an inclusive movement that has swallowed up even the true blue business elite?

Ah yes, the ‘dad, I’m voting Labour’ thing directed by the party’s propaganda It-Boy Mario Philip Azzopardi. Just the one. Those words were uttered by Floren Sultana herself.

Oh wow, now I see what you mean. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Yeah, the video has her complaining about lies and corrupt cliques… With the real twist being that the put-upon, FT-reading father conspiratorially reveals to his daughter that he’s voting for Labour too.

With the benefit of hindsight, I can almost imagine the conversation happening in real life. Yes, Floren and step-dad having a bit of a tête-à-tête ahead of the election.

Let’s face it, it’s the more realistic scenario in more ways than one. True. We always keep hearing about how pragmatic Maltese voters are. So the daughter’s moralistic wailing in the advert is the one thing that grates away from the real picture.

Yes. It’s not that the Maltese hate corruption… They just hate it when it doesn’t play in their favour.

Well, sadly for Floren the jig is finally up. Who knows if another ‘girlboss’ will take her place?

Either way, it’s a pile-up of cliches that makes for excellent reality TV but would make super-stale fictional drama. Yes, the ‘Netflix’ comparisons are overstated in this case. Floren’s involvement is too symmetrical, too neat. Not only is it far-fetched, it’s predictable and schematic to a fault.

Checking now… at least we got some fun memes out of the whole debacle. Whoop-dee-doo.

*sigh* Why must life be so disappointing? You tell me. Well, even Floren felt the need to buy an Audi A1 to spice things up, so…

Do say: “Forgetting about the delectable soap opera cliches that surround the case - I know it’s hard, but let’s at least try - Floren Sultana’s arrest stands as proof of the current administration’s willingness to finally tackle white collar crime with an unprecedented degree of seriousness. But this remains a small consolation in the wake of what the arrest has uncovered: yet another example of graft allowed to run rampant in the country, eating away at its foundations.”

Don’t say: “Let’s face it: Floren played the Malta-Monopoly game and won like a true girlboss.”