You'll be sorry when satire REALLY spills out of the newspaper columns and into the real world...

No. 223 - One Final Scrape of Flesh

ADPD leader Sandra Gauci
ADPD leader Sandra Gauci

What are we skinning? We are here to mark an indelibly sad occasion which will alter the satirical space of the nation forever, as we announce that this very edition of The Skinny will be the final one to occupy this column space.

Why are we skinning it? Because we cannot leave our trusty readers without giving them a smooth transition into a world where The Skinny is no more.

The question on everyone's lips is... why bother? Why bother with what?

Why bother quitting? The Skinny appears to be generated all by itself, an organism as inevitable as any biological function. That's where you're both mistaken and poignantly accurate.

How so? The Skinny is in fact crafted by human hands, which need rest and respite, unlike the AI bots that are edging to replace its primacy in human culture. But your assumption also accurately conveys how we tend to take our media products for granted once they slide into the routine which, paradoxically, is required for them to continue their generation.

This is one of your philosophical digressions. Yes, I don't want you to miss me TOO much...

I'm still hungover from the office Christmas bash, so go easy on me. On the contrary, I find the interim period between Christmas and New Year's Eve to be the perfect time to take stock and reflect...

I'm taking stock alright. Of the leftover mince pies. Well, the world churns on irrespective of the needs of your appetite.

Speaking of the world outside our bunkered, leftover-ridden domestic confines... want to take one final stab at the satire? What is there to say that can be encapsulated in one pithy caption?

Go on... Well, okay... I see the trend of 'saving trees' remains an interesting motif this year.

Yep. ADPD and co. managed it in Bugibba, of all places. Could our local councillors and other political bodies have woken up to the fact that trees actually serve more than just a decorative purpose?

It's an optimistic assumption we can carry into the new year, perhaps? I want to say that it can serve as a resolution, but that assumes a degree of will and gumption on the part of those keen to scrape the island of anything that isn't functionally making money.

That would certainly make for a country in which phenomena like The Skinny would have less and less reason to exist. So, let us hope that we won't be missed too much, and too far down the line.

Do say: "It was a pleasure to play the (dual) role of MaltaToday's dialoguing satirical voice over the past few years. We hope our light-touch subversion provided both welcome pleasure and necessary reflection."

Don't say: "You'll be sorry when satire REALLY spills out of the newspaper columns and into the real world..."