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Unhappy spouses living together 'fulfilling marital obligations' - Austin Bencini
Introduction of divorce will do "no good but lead to marriage breakdown" - Allied Newspapers director and columnist Austin Bencini.
15 March 2011, 12:00am
Miriam Dalli
Miriam Dalli
2 min read
Austin Bencini, a director at Allied Newspapers and a campaigner for the anti-divorce movement Zwieg bla Divorzju, told an audience at the University of Malta today that divorce would destabilize the family unit, and change the concept of family and marriage "as we know it".
Bencini was participating in a debate chaired by University of Malta lecturer Dr David Friggieri on the issue of individual rights and the common good in the debate on divorce.
Bencini belied statistics that show 90% of families in Malta live in a happy marriage. “I do not believe there is this amount of families living happily, but I believe these families believe in the unity of marriage and are working hard to safeguard it... They do not separate simply because they believe in the promises they made."
“Divorce will only demolish the couples’ will to work on their marriage,” Bencini added, implying divorce will be an easy getaway for couples who do not recognise the responsibility of marriage.
The debate, which centered around the common good versus the individual right to divorce, also tackled the wellbeing of children. Commenting on this, Bencini said fundamental human rights already safeguard the rights of illegitimate children "once considered as a minority” and who are now on equal footing with children born in wedlock.
“These rights have led the state to give compassion to these children, without breaking the concept of family. So why should we tackle family problems by introducing a mechanism which would break it?” he asked.
Asked by MaltaToday to comment about those married couples who still live under the same roof notwithstanding they are not leading a happy family life, Bencini said such spouses were “fulfilling their obligations”.
“Several families are facing problems but they do not want to just up and leave. They want to maintain their stability. Divorce will simply ruin this stability,” he said. "Marriage means duty."
Asked to then suggest what should be done in order to help spouses living through marital problems such as domestic violence, Bencini said state should "inject more social work to make the difference needed in these families and offer them support... Divorce will be simply submerging them deeper into their problems, rather than helping them solve it."
Miriam Dalli joined MaltaToday.com.mt in 2010 becoming assistant editor f...
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@marty b....so how do the children of couples feel stay stay together because they have to and the parents are constantly arguing? Have you spoken to any of those children? Do you think they have a happy childhood?
I am not saying that divorce will be the solution to everything but it would give people and OPTION. I agree with JEZABEL that kids only feel secure if and when the parents are united as parents...that does not necessarily mean that they have to live under the same roof. Children are more intelligent that you think and as long as they know that their parents love them and it is explained to them in a child-friendly way why mummy and daddy are no longer living together but that it's not their fault, they are probably happier than if the parents had to stay together and argue constantly.
Also I am curious to hear what positive effect NO DIVORCE has on society.
Another thing I did not say anything against COHABITATION....if a couple decides NOT to get married it would be because THEY CHOOSE to do so (no mattter where they live) In Malta unfortunately it is not a matter of CHOICE but forced upon society by "BIG BROTHER CHURCH" - no matter if one is Catholic or not
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“Several families are facing problems but they do not want to just up and leave. They want to maintain their stability. Divorce will simply ruin this stability,” he said. "Marriage means duty.!!!!!
Austin Bencini are you speaking from your own personal experience?? or did you have a meeting with the bishop by any chance ? What stability are you referring to ? when mum and dad live under the same roof and do not speak to each other live separate lives under the same roof and only breath easy when they are apart from each other and the kids watch and suffer in silence ..?? kids feel secure and stable only when mum and dad are united not living a hell under the same roof!!
"divorce would destabilize the family unit, and change the concept of family and marriage "as we know it"....who are you trying to fool Austin Bencini! i doubt anyone will take you seriously unless they live in the middle ages and have your mentally,
Pauline Moran •
@MartyB
Habib, nifmek izda ma naqbel mieghek assulutament XEJN! L-argument mhux kif ghidt int li divorzu ghandu positive jew negative effect ighax kull ma taghmel fil hajja fiha positive u negative effect. Meta siehbek Wenz ghadda biddel il ligi ta l-ambjent biex jagevola lil BWSC tirbah il kuntratt...Hemmek kien hemm positive effect?? Dazgur ghal min dahhal 4 miljun commision...pero ghal poplu Negative effect ser tkun ghax ser titfa ammont kbir ta skart tossiku fl-arja!!! Meta siehbek Wenzu alloka 600 Ewro lilu u lil shabu u lilna taghna 1.16 ta euro hemmek kien hemm positive effect? Dazgur ghal Wenzu, izda ghalina Le, habib!!! Mela isma minni il positive effect u negative effects qed jigu mgebdin skond il konvenjenza habib. U l-PN tieghek ma jridux il ligi li tidhol mhux ghaliex huma Kattolici ta' Veru kif dejjem jirrepetu izda ghaliex il Knisja ser titlef hafna income min separazzjonijiet li bhalissa hija tikkontrolla!!! Ahna qed nghidu Le ghall min jrid itappan id drittjiet tal poplu taghna,. Ahna ser nghidu Le GHAL PN u IVA GHAD DIVORZJU!!!
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@ich
Is that right? Then, like myself (although I am not a foreigner I have spent many years living abroad) you must have at some time or other come across a great number of young adults whose parents had been divorced and remarried twice, three, in some instances (which are not so rare as one might think) four times, yes, FOUR times. Have these individuals ever discussed with you how they felt? And how their parent's numerous divorces and marriages affected their lives? Tell us, pray.
If, according to you divorce had positive effects on the society (which I very much doubt because my experience of living in a country where divorce is legal shown exactly the contrary) in your country, wherever that may be, does not mean that it will be the same for Malta.
Another thing - in countries where divorce is legal a great number of couples nowadays are choosing NOT to get married at all and instead cohabit and have a family just the same. I cannot understand why as a foreigner you are finding this in Malta unacceptable to the point of saying that your children are illegitimate because the law does not allow your partner to remarry when in your country it has become a way of life, by choice (no doubt).
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What do you expect an ultra-conservative to say?
Do the likes of Dr Bencini think that we are not able to come to own conclusions. Why all these passionate pleas as if it is the end of the world?
But I guess the mentality of these preachers of doom is still stuck in the Middle Ages.
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Bencini,Camilleri, Austin Gatt,Beppe and gonzi, what do they have in common?
Their arguments are helping people to decide to vote YES TO DIVORCE.
You get more sense out of a sea urchin.
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Sounds like a watered-down version of Andre Camilleri's brilliant idea that battered wives should just grin and bear it or otherwise their violent husband might turn his attention to other women.
George Zammit •
Bollocks! All they're fulfilling is a living hell. And scarring any children involved for life.
Bollocks again.
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Restless suffering citizen vs dangerous Ajjutallah ! Its no wonder our university is resembling more and more the Archbishop Seminary; many lecturers wear collars, others wear suits but sing the same Gregorian rants! Ghanqbut!
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We could always appoint him ambassador to Afghanistan!
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Sewwa kien jghid Mintoff. Lil hmir hallihom jifthu halqhom biex taghrafom. Hekk gralu Austin Bencini. Tajjeb ikun jaf li nahqa ta' hmar qatt ma telghet is-sema.
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....and another one of that "species".....is Mr Bencini afraid that his wife will divorce him?
I am a foreigner living in Malta and after almost a decade I still haven't gotten used to the Maltese way of thinking ( i am generalising here).
According to the church (and Malta lives and breathes the Catholic way of living-again generalising) couples are not allowed to live together unless they are married (also because otherwise nanna might get a heart attack and what would the neighbours say!??). So then the couple moves in once they are married, the honeymoon phase passes at one point and reality kicks in; then some people might realise that maybe they were not all that compatible after all. What now? According to Mr Bencini & co they will have to "hang in there" until death...which might be a looooong time....If the couple had children they simply teach them that happiness is not important in life and basically live the lie of a "perfect family"....and let's not forget if the wife gets beaten up she should obviously have to continue to fulfil her marital obligations...RUBBISH!!!
But yes, there IS the option of a church annulment....unfortunately if one does not have the surname Fenech Adami it's not all that simple....
My partner and I have 2 children ,yes, those illegitimate ones as my partner was married previously and the church annulment was denied (his surname is NOT Fenech Adami..... btw the church happily accepted the "donation" though)
Dear MrBencini and Co, please do get a reality check!!!! Divorce is a civil right (yes, Austin,it truly is) for those who need it. It is an OPTION. I fyou do not want to get divorced then simply just don't (your wife might think otherwise....;))
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Dan veru kaz tal-imgienen! LOL! Dr Bencini kien wiehed mill-aktar proponenti akkaniti biex Malta tidhol fl-UE u mbaghad jirrizulta li hu l-aktar wiehed ahrax mit-Talibani ta' Malta.
Veru li only in Malta!
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Bencini belied statistics that show 90% of families in Malta live in a happy marriage. “I do not believe there is this amount of families living happily, but I believe these families believe in the unity of marriage and are working hard to safeguard it... They do not separate simply because they believe in the promises they made."
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LOLLLLLLLLL u hallina u tkomplux iddahqu lin-nies bikom.
austin bencini, in avukat ta , hmmmm ra x'avukati hawn eh, kemm trid toqghod attent lil min tqabbad sabiex jghinek fil-qorti- ghalhekk certi avukati joqghodu jgebdu u jtawlu kawza s-snin. flok ma jghinu kif suppost.
komplu ghidu l-hmerijiet.
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Asked by MaltaToday to comment about those married couples who still live under the same roof notwithstanding they are not leading a happy family life, Bencini said such spouses were “fulfilling their obligations”.
austin bencini la kont pront wegibt fuq din ta l-ahhar, mhux forsi int hekkk hux, Forsi????? jekk fil-kaz kompli int ghamle l-obligazzjonijiet tieghek- u lil haddiehor tindahallux x'jghamel ;-)
int ghix hajtek u hadiehor jghix hajtu!
ma jixr
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***Austin Bencini: “Several families are facing problems but they do not want to just up and leave. They want to maintain their stability. Divorce will simply ruin this stability******
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
why you bring such an stupid person sayings?:) well all have the right to speak in a democratic country, fair enough.
So we can laugh with a person like this.
I garantee that even soem children benefit from the seperation- who is this %&%#@ LOLllllllllll
does he have a marriage breakdown himslef? if not , than who don't know what it is to be seperated, than he or she don't understand in these things.
whay er they speaking out on issues that they don't understand!
If one doesn't know anything about such, why they are speaking and telling what is good or what is wrong.
if one does not know how to, build a car , build a house etc.. than why they are speaking about, when they know nothing.
in short this is Malta :
Area
- Total 316 km2 (200th)
121 sq mi
- Water (%) 0.001
Independence
- from the United Kingdom 21 September 1964
- Republic 13 December 1974
Population
- 2010 estimate 412,966[2] (171st)
- 2007 census 410,567[3]1
- Density 1,306.8/km2 (7th)
3,413.9/sq m
this micro state must be still controled by the vatican? lollllllllllllll
the church are using these well known people( who think they know more)
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Incredible in this modern day and time, a journalist acting as an authority on the status of family life in Malta ( makes one wonder what his sources are ), speaking out for the family and yet refusing to let them speak out for themselves. Probably afraid of being contradicted, I presume.
Stop treating Malta as one big Kindergarten and let the public decide once and for all what’s good for them or not. Admittedly looking at the status of politics ( and the type of politicians ) in Malta makes one wonder if the Maltese are really ready to shed that colonial complex but it is high time for them to stand up and be counted. They may stumble a few times in the process but isn’t that what life is all about. Being taken for a ride by overbearing politicians who spout their twisted wisdom to anybody who cares to listen ( or even those who don’t ) will simply delay the independent and objective thinking capacity of the nation.
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Veru ghajjien Austin ma stajt nifhem l-ebda raguni tieghek - kif tista' tibqa tirraguna hekk fis-sena 2011 - kont nahseb bhalek snin ijlu izda illum trid taggorna naqra wahda l-hsibijiet tieghek ghax mhux qed tghamel sens. Fi ftit taz-zmien iehor anke z-zwieg jispicca ahseb u ara d-Divorzju. Illum tfal mhux qed jitwieldu (ommi kella 8, Zijti kella 9 u z-zijja l-ohra kella 7 - it-tfal tieghi ma jridux aktar minn 2) u jekk ma rridux li nintlew bil-barranin irridu naraw kif dawn it-tfal ser jigu. Pajjiz minghajr tfal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kif jirraguna Dr Bencini jfakkarni fil-President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tal-Iran. Mhux li nies bhal dan idabbru rashom f'dak il-pajjiz!
Isabelle Borg •
Sur Bencini jekk trid toqghod fiz zwieg imkisser,int ghoqod kemm il- madoffii trid, izda lili tindahallix u hallini nghix kif il ostra irrid jien.
Albert Zammit •
Just one word to Austin Bencini: you are an advocate of sheer hypocrisy. That's all it is - an unhappy couple living together is nothing but a symbol of hypocrisy.
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Ghanqbut, stanjazzjoni, egoizmu, u 'intellectual honesty'! Hallina nghixu!
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The more I hear the PN commenting on divorce the more convinced I become not to vote for them ever again (that one time was on the EU).
