Marinas are for sissies. True boat-owners park wherever, whenever they want

The Skinny | No. 219 - Pimp my superyacht

What are we skinning? Infrastructure and Transport Minister Aaron Farrugia's unveiling of a 'vision document' for Malta, which places the need for super-marinas for super-yachts right at the very top of its priorities.

Why are we skinning it? Because it's yet another example of how in Malta, we keep flogging horses that have been visibly over-flogged elsewhere, for the sole purpose of seemingly slapping ourselves in the face with the whip once the horse has figured out a safe way to bolt.

That's a convoluted metaphor. I thought it was tight, clever and apt.

No shortage of 'vision', either. I will neither confirm nor deny that mind-altering substances may have figured into my assessment and subsequent depiction of this situation.

Do you think our own dear minister Farrugia's vision could use such supplements? The obsession with 'super' this and 'super' that even while sober suggests that an enhanced variant of this destruction-derby would be a disturbing thing to merely witness, much less experience as public-private policy.

What IS the vision, then? Broadly speaking, it mostly appears to boil down to "more marinas for more superyachts".

Didn't people already protest against marinas in Maltese localities for the millionth time in a row? Apparently, it's not enough. The vision quest must be followed at all costs.

Yeah that's true. I mean, most of them are led by the unshowered, dreadlocked crew over at Graffitti HQ, right? Whom you'd think would be more prone to psychedelic vision quests by proxy. But I digress.

It's been a while since Moviment Graffitti and their affiliates have been tarred with the 'smelly hippie' brush, anyway. Yeah, that's more of a '90s thing. Their community outreach in recent years has worked wonders.

Politicians are known to engage in community outreach as well. Undeniable. I mean, they're clearly invested in advocating for the needs of the international super-rich.

It's all going to trickle down, eventually. I'm still waiting. And while I wait, they're reclaiming land for their superyacht projects.

It's all a build-up towards an even greater trickle. All very well for a trickle to become a full-blown droplet, but I'm not sure we can afford any actual flooding at this stage.

Is there a silver lining? Yes... that rising sea levels will claim the superyachts first.

Do say: "Securing profitable niches is crucial to maintaining our country's economic independence and autonomy. But in the age of the Anthropocene, superyachts are the ultimate anathema."

Don't say: "Marinas are for sissies. True Maltese boat-owners park their vessels wherever they want, whenever they want."