[WATCH] Remembering our elderly loved ones during the Christmas season

Remembering our elderly loved ones during the Christmas season

For Casa Antonia resident, 84-year-old Rosina Pace, the Christmas period is something of a painful reminder of the past.

“I have to admit it’s a bit melancholic for me,” she told Malta Today. “It always fills me with nostalgia, as I think of past celebrations with my family.”

Like many of the other Casa Antonia residents who spoke to Malta Today, Pace spent most of her years living abroad.

“We always loved travelling,” she said, smiling as she told us of how she studied, lived and worked in Rome, the UK and Australia at different times of her life.

“My husband and I spent 26 years in Australia and we built a life there,” she said, adding that they only decided to come back to Malta once their children had settled down to raise their own families.

“Christmas was always a time for us to meet, so it always makes me sad that we’re not all together,” she said.

“As time goes by, you want to spend as much time with your relatives as possible because you don’t know when your last Christmas is going to be.”

Pace was quick to reassure me however, that she frequently communicated with her children both through Skype calls and traditional phone calls.

“It’s much easier to communicate nowadays, and I also love writing letters to my children,” she said, adding that she also used this as a way to keep one of her beloved skills alive. Pace explained that writing and other creative skills like painting had been amongst her favourite pursuits throughout her life.

This newsroom spoke to two elderly care homes to see what their residences do to fight off the blues that might arise from time to time, and be particularly poignant at Christmas.

“There are many reasons why the elderly at care homes are considered at risk of depression,” Nursing Manager at Casa Antonia, Antonia Attard said, adding that very often it also depended on how the resident in question came about the move from their private residence.

“We have quite a few residents who come here of their own free will, and more often than not, they do not experience these feelings of sadness. However, those residents who do not make a conscious choice experience feelings of regret at their loss of independence.”

True to this statement, some of the residents who spoke to this newsroom said that being alone does not equate loneliness.

“I like being left to my own devices,” said one woman, who preferred to remain unidentified.

“I enjoy socialising but sometimes there’s nothing better than having a room to yourself and just practising a hobby,” she said pointing at some of her hand-made items which include lampshades among others.

She added that she had spent most of her life travelling and that she had held a job in Rome among others, making independence something natural in her life.

Similarly, Larry Storey and Joe Brincat, 87 and 83 years old respectively, told us how they had lived very fulfilling lives focusing on travel and their careers.

Brincat, a financial trouble-shooter who held posts in London and Paris throughout his life said that he had chosen to remain single in his life, after leaving Malta at the age of 25.

“I’ve always enjoyed meeting new people, and I still make sure to talk to as many people as I can here at the residence,” he said.

Brincat told us he had just returned from a morning of travelling around the island to visit friends in Sliema and St. Julian’s, where he lived before he checked into Casa Antonia.

“I was born in Balzan,” he said, adding that he had three siblings who visited him as often as possible.

Recalling traditions like the procession with Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve, Brincat said that he also enjoyed the Christmas activities organised by the residence and that he was particularly looking forward to the party on Christmas Eve.

Storey, a newcomer to Casa Antonia, said that he had lived in Chelsea in London  for most of his life, where he was also a journalist at the Evening Standard.

Like Brincat, Storey said that he was happy to have amassed a certain amount of money to be able to live comfortably in his late years. Although he frequently repeats that he is “alone” and “unwanted”, he assures us that he is “happy and content” since he moved into the residence and that the staff very often kept him company.

“I decided to move to Malta because a doctor had recommended a warm climate to better suit my health, and because the country’s very close to home in many ways,” he said, adding that he had been in Malta for fifteen years now.

The home’s general manager Sarah Cassar explained that some residents have trouble adjusting with the fact that they’ve left all their personal belongings behind, and that they have to share their rooms with other residents in some cases.

“Some feel like they have been abandoned by their relatives, sometimes regardless of the number of visits they get,” she added.

Attard explained that in an effort to ensure that loneliness is not so strongly felt, the home secured a very full daily programme, and an even more entertaining one at Christmas to keep everyone busy.

“We encourage the residents to spend as much time as possible in the common areas to talk to other residents and interact as much as possible,” she said, adding that mass, rosary and tombola were part of the daily routine.

Attard said that other events were organized to further encourage a sense of community including outings, live music performances, dances, cinema nights, as well as crafts, cooking sessions and physical activity classes.

Directors on the boards of Care Malta residential homes also spoke to Malta Today and said that loneliness is something that is experienced by a number of residents throughout the whole year. 

“Unfortunately it seems to be brought up during the festive season more strongly, and then dwindles during the rest of the year,” they added.

“We do our utmost to fulfill our residents’ free time during this particular period more than ever, by organizing regular activities and outings, as well as schools and charitable institution visits and encouraging our residents to feel the Christmas spirit through their activities, plays and carol singing,” they added.

One of the residents at Casa Arkati in Mosta, one of the homes run by Care Malta, explained how the residence organized various activities to fill up residents’ time.

“Since I was accommodated at Casa Arkati, I have taken up drama, which I practice all year round, and I started participating in drama concerts organised by the Active Ageing Coordinator at Casa Arkati,” Saviour Valletta told us.

Valletta added that the residence also organises concerts and events throughout the year, particularly during Easter, the home’s anniversary, Christmas, Carnival and the Good Friday pageant.

“I’m also interested in sports games, which I practice to compete in the sports rally organised by the home every year, and I’ve recently taken up traditional Bocci, now that a Bocci pitch has been inaugurated at the home.”

Casa Arkati resident Saviour Valletta

Valletta said that he has one brother in Malta and another one in Australia, and that his nieces in Malta come to visit often and phone him to check how he is doing and ask if he needs anything.

He further explained that he is in frequent contact with his relatives living abroad, but that the bulk of his time is taken up by other hobbies such as sewing.

“I like to sew items related to home decor for the employees, and I really enjoy doing it. My pride is to sew items related to our in house Chapel,” he said, adding that he often enjoys watching sports programmes, particularly football as he is an avid Tottenham Hotspurs fan.

“I also keep busy with word search games and the daily activities organized by the home.”

He also added that he liked to keep in touch with the outside world, during his daily walk along Constitution street to the village square, to do his own shopping and visit the Mosta church.

The directors also added that the phenomenon of solitude could be addressed by the relatives of residents themselves.

“Keeping a minimum of a weekly appointment with one’s father or mother would not be taxing any individual considering the many sacrifices that person would have made for him/her to achieve a status in life.”

The view is also shared by the staff at Casa Antonia, with Attard pointing out that loneliness was probably more of an issue for elderly who lived alone.

“Even if they might not want to or be able to partake in activities, at least there is a sense of community in care homes, both amongst the residents themselves, and with the care workers given their constant presence.”

How does loneliness effect the elderly in their own homes?

Speaking about her experience visiting the elderly in their homes, Community Liaison nurse Maria Taliana told Malta Today that loneliness in elderly living alone is a very pressing issue.

“Elderly living on their own are more prone to such feelings, particularly if they have lost their partner,” she said, adding that all too often people living alone only had TV’s and radios for company.

Taliana explained that many might feel abandoned even if they receive frequent visits from their relatives.

“Visiting is always important, but it is important to keep in mind the quality of the visit as well,” she said, pointing out that very often, relatives end up spending their time doing chores for their parents.

“In itself this obviously isn’t a bad thing, but what they need is company above everything else.”

Taliana said that one of the solutions to such feelings was to always give the elderly something to look forward to and to help them to feel useful and like they still have a lot to give.

“The elderly have a vast hoard of knowledge and experience that they can and commonly want to impart on others,” she said, adding that during her studies in Milan, she had carried out studies into how children interact with elderly members of the community.

“Listening to what they have to say to us is a way to show them how important they are to us,” she said, adding that very often

She added that one of the best ways to stave off the feelings of loneliness was to engage them in activities they could participate in and to set up appointments to actually do these activities with them.

“Things like shopping for food, cooking, planning meals, or even allowing them to help in chores can help them feel useful and therefore less like a burden,” she said.

On a broader scale, Taliana said that research or an in-depth analysis into what those living at private residences needed was necessary to understand what sort of assistance they needed; whether they needed companionship, or merely somebody to make sure they eat properly and live healthily.

The Care Malta board also recommended involving voluntary institutions in the process, particularly to assist those who had no relatives.

“Voluntary institutions can assume the role of adopted family,” they said, adding that the practice is already in place in a number of institutions.

“If well organized, it could make a whole difference in the life of many elderly people living alone in both residential and private homes.”

Cassar explained that although loneliness isn’t such a self-evident thing, it was a reality people needed to be aware of and that when the elderly lived on their own, more attention needed to be dedicated to identifying certain tell-tale signs.

“Withdrawal from society, and a reluctance to take care of themselves are classic alarm bells,” she said, adding that for elderly living in care homes, carers could very often be aware of even the slightest changes.