It’s so exhausting for Malta being the best and waiting for the world to realise

What are we skinning? The Prime Minister promising that Malta could be the ‘best in the world’ during the launch of the consultation period for Malta’s economic vision for 2021-2031.

Why are we skinning it? Because it’s precisely the kind of deliciously grandiloquent nonsense that our Prime Minister has become associated with, and I believe I am correct in assuming that we are both very much here for it.

I’m not here for it yet, to be perfectly honest. That’s disappointing.

What are we supposed to be the best at? In a word: everything.

Oh, that’s amazing. Yes, do pay attention to it next time you’re out.

Small wonder the ‘State of the Nation’ survey found that the vast majority of Maltese people are happy to live here. Puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?

Has the Prime Minister put a target date for when said ‘bestness’ will be achieved? No, he hasn’t.

Ah, there’s the rub. But isn’t that always the case with celestial inevitabilities?

How do you mean? Well, think of the Second Coming

I’m thinking. Precisely. You’re thinking. You’re hoping. He may be just around the corner

So are you suggesting it should be a ‘it’s not about the destination, it’s about the friends we met along the way’ sort of deal? That could be one way of looking at it, yes.

The last economic roadmap did yield some interesting friends, to be fair. Indeed! A global conglomerate of buddies, ranging from Azeri oligarchs to Jordanian construc-- I mean, education entrepreneurs, to the many endearing and rag-tag ragamuffins you’ll find closer to home.

Yes, it’s fascinating to see so many kazin-reared kids mushroom into cabinet ministers, for example. True exemplars of the ‘school of life’.

But hang on, I’ve read through the press releases and speeches and it all seems like rather stuffy, official and – dare I say – rather sober stuff. You’re right. We’ve been taking the mickey based on a single quote by Abela and found the actual matter to be rather less offensive – and less fun – than all of that.

So we’re not going to be the best? If we achieve everything in that ambitious plan, we may become something resembling a legitimate country.

A legitimate country as opposed to what? A multi-colonised island state reeling from a misguided injection of poorly-thought out neoliberal policies and tribal political duopoly that has failed to create the possibilities of meaningful discourse to flourish.

But Malta is building bigger, better and shinier. Yes, the DB monster was approved just this week too.

Now I know what we’re gonna be best at. I think I know too.

Do say: “While one needs to look for the proof of the pudding and cut through the rhetoric, Prime Minister Robert Abela’s declaration that we may be the best in the world just plunges the entire affair into chauvinistic ridicule, and acts as an unpleasant reminder of his oft-mentioned ‘waves are only in the sea’ faux pas.”

Don’t say: “We’ve been the best for a long time. It’s exhausting to have to wait for the entire world to wake up to that realisation.”