Like cockroaches, Peppa Pig and its ilk are insidious messengers for the outside world

What are we skinning? Nationalist MP Edwin Vassallo’s objection to an episode of Peppa Pig which introduces a character raised by a same-sex (lesbian) polar bear couple, on the grounds that this is, apparently, yet another example of “enforced ideological indoctrination” that is corrupting our children and robbing them of their essential innocence in early years.

Why are we skinning it? Because it’s yet another example of elements of the Nationalist Party regaling us with moments of true-blue nostalgia, when the world was simpler and all the more bigoted and patriarchal for being so, and when the dictates of the Church were considered to actually be gospel by a sizeable part of the Maltese population.

Yes, I miss the days of stolid masculine leaders who enforced our ideological norms with staunch conviction. Mintoff vs Eddie was such a reassuring binary for many.

It all started going downhill the moment brainiacs like Alfred Sant started cutting in on the action. We don’t need no Harvard education! Give me that perit action and that provincial village lawyer grit, and I’m happy as pie.

This is why it’s so important to fight for our right to remain narrow-minded and pig-headed in our simple ignorance (no pun intended). That’s right. If you keep the outside world at bay, it cannot possibly hurt you.

Thinking along the lines of that mindset, it’s no surprise that kids’ cartoons become a covert threat. Much like the cockroaches that your adorable fluffy cat brings in as a gift under the cover of night, Peppa Pig and its ilk are insidious messengers for the outside world.

When in fact we all want to be safe as houses, literally. What’s the point of building houses, otherwise?

We certainly seem to be building a lot of them. It’s something Edwin Vassallo should consider. If society were in fact so corrupt, then why are we so keen on aggressively building the exact same structures that would keep the outside world at bay?

We are even destroying large swathes of our true-blue national landscape to do so, to say nothing of traditional village cores which would previously be dwarfed by the Church and nothing else. Yes, now that you mention it, the threat of vicious polar bears – lesbian or not – feels rather remote, when considering more immediate risks.

Do say: “Equating the mere appearance of LGBTIQ+ characters in children’s entertainment with explicit material is irrational on top of being reactionary: it assumes that all there is to the lifestyle is explicit sex, and it dehumanises gay people everywhere.”

Don’t say: “Poor Edwin clearly didn’t get the memo, though. Shaking your fist at token gay characters in kids’ cartoons is no longer the cool right-wing rallying cry. Now it’s all about advocating incessantly on how fantasy elves and talking mermaids should not, under any circumstance, be portrayed by black actors.”