Which storm will rid us of Joseph Portelli’s projects, so we can finally put that nightmare to bed?

What are we skinning? Storm Helios doing its thing over the Maltese islands and ruining everyone’s St Paul’s Day plans.

Why are we skinning it? Because it seems that a dramatic but largely non-fatal meteorological disaster is just what we needed to get our minds off things.

But my mind is still very much on a lot of things. Chances are it’s because there’s at least a sliver of blue sky up there as you sit reading this -- had the rain been pissing down and the winds battering away at your doors, windows and walls, that wouldn’t have been the case.

But I don’t want to be blind to everything that’s around me. Well, that makes ME jealous of your tenacity and mental fortitude. ‘Cos let me tell you, the past couple of weeks have been a rough ride for me, personally.

Why is that? Where to begin? It’s true that the news of an imminent Mary Spiteri musical served as something of a salve for the wound that was Aidan’s disqualification from the Eurovision, but we still had to contend with the knowledge that, among other things, mass deaths as a result of callous war and vindictive nature are occurring not too far away from our shores, the same shores where everything from femicide to drug abuse and corruption continues to characterise our entry into 2023.

But at least our democracy is still intact. We can still vote, that’s true. But the polls have shown that we’re practically edging towards a one-party state.

It looks like the country needs a storm of a different ilk, then. True, a new political party that could galvanise the discontented – and growing – pool of non-voters could be just the thing to rock the boat.

In the meantime, we’ll make do with the yachts bobbing back and forth on our marinas. Symbols of easy luxury attempting to survive choppy waters with nary enough dignity to be called such pretty much symbolises the state of the mushrooming Maltese bourgeoisie from 2013 onwards.

Pity we didn’t hear of any reports of flailing roadside fish, as we did back in 2019. But that was pre-pandemic. Everything was livelier then, somehow.

That’s true. And we could take solace in the fact that we still managed to capture some spectacular footage of Msida and Marsascala.

Ian Borg may have gotten things done, but flooding is forever. We can take comfort in some consistency, at least.

Do say: “Malta’s infrastructural regime has a tendency of keeping us all on tenterhooks whenever even a moderately strong storm approaches. Can you imagine what it’ll be like when a truly dramatic one hits?”

Don’t say: “Which storm will rid us of Joseph Portelli’s projects, so we can finally put that nightmare to bed?”